Friday, June 9, 2017

Footprints In The Sand

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
"I don’t understand why, when I need You most, You would leave me.”

The Lord said "Sorry about that, I stopped to pet a dog."

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Still Got It

I did a show at a bar last night. No stage, so I'm performing on the floor close to the bathroom. (I'm a pretty big deal.) About 20 minutes into my show a woman comes out of the bathroom gives me this folded up paper towel note says "bye" and leaves.

It says "I'm a labor nurse. Some people should have to have a license to procreate!"

I know a lot of comedians who have gotten phone numbers from audience members at shows, but I think having someone slip you a note that asks you to stop breeding shows real game.
I added it to the family picture wall.