Minot, North Dakota
There’s a sign in Minot North Dakota that says “Why not Minot” Hmm why not? How about because it’s in the middle of fucking nowhere and is -40 degrees in the winter? Maybe I’ll open with that on stage tonight. It’s always good to make friends early in the show. I drove here today after a mediocre show in Mandan, ND. I tried to listen to the radio on the way. North Dakota is a great place to live if you like Jesus and country music. I left the radio on scan for 30 minutes then gave up. I think eventually everyone’s attention span will be so short that we will always listen to the radio on scan. Five seconds is all we will need or want to hear of any song. That is something that is great about stand up comedy. It’s Old School. There’s no flash to it. No explosions. No quick edits. Its one person entertaining with words, expressions, body movement, and timing. Telling stories and jokes has for the most part been the same for centuries. There has only been one important advancement in the history of stand up comedy. Electricity. Ok two advancements I forgot about watermelons.
In my hotel I am on the same floor as a college women’s soccer team. If I was in a buddy road trip movie this would be the scene were I said “dude” and slapped my buddy high five. But I am not in a buddy road trip movie. Instead I just laughed because I am 30, married, and fat.
Here is a joke I wrote today that I will probably never say on stage. It made me laugh and that’s usually a bad sign.
“I dated a girl with Tourette’s Syndrome once. Well, at least I thought she had Tourette’s syndrome. After we broke up I found out she just liked yelling at me.”