Sunday, July 11, 2004

12 GALLONS OF SHIT IN A 10 POUND HAT

TUCSON ARIZONA

Well I wrapped up a week of pretty good shows here in Tucson. I'll be glad to leave though mostly because the condo they put us up in is a shithole. Its really disgusting and I have low standards. Another reason I'll be glad to leave is this weeks headliner is an arrogant drunk asshole. He drinks every day all day. He drank on the way to the radio show we did at 7:30 in the morning! Plus he wont shut up about everything he knows about comedy, from what kind of shirt I should be wearing on stage, to what the graphics on my cd should look like. I couldn't even watch TV with him. He kept giving his drunken opinions on politics.
"During times of war you need a Republican in office, during times of peace you can have a Democrat."
"Well what if the only reason were at war is because the Republican made us go?"
"That dont matter."
"You know FDR was a Democrat."
"Who?"

You know the worst part about the whole week? He killed! He absolutely destroyed every night. He would have done even better sober, but even drunk, people loved him. Even when he hauls out the guitar at the end of show and sings his hilarious country music parodies they love him. We are in Tucson, why do Mexicans laugh at country music parodies? I have no idea. He sold probably $500-600 in CD's and T shirts too. I only sold 16 CD's this week, usually after a week at a club I sell about 25-30. I still had good shows, and had some people tell me I should have headlined but still its a little humbling to have your ass kicked by a dipshit in a cowboy hat. If I had a nickel for everytime this week that someone told me "Hey you were pretty good too" I'd have like $2.75.

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