Thursday, July 1, 2004

strip club

PORTLAND OREGON

I have had two fun shows at Harveys Comedy Club here in Portland. The crowds have been a little drunk and rowdy but whatever, it's hard to complain when there are 280 people at the show on a weekday. Last night after the show I went to a strip club with headliner Danny Villapondo. We met a guy after the show who was the manager at a strip club, he said he'd give us the VIP treatment. Apparently VIP treatment is all the Coors Light you can drink. I don't like strip clubs. I'm not just saying that cause I'm trying to get laid either. I honestly find them depressing. Plus I'm cheap. Just cause you've got your vagina out in public that doesn't mean I want to give you money. Our host for the evening kept calling me fat guy. He'd say to the waitress,

"Hey get another beer for fat guy over there."

He was fat too. I guess thats why he thought it was ok. Kind of like how black guys call each other...well you know. He kept saying things to me like,

"Whats wrong fat guy? You looked bored your not having a good time?"

Really I wasnt having a good time, but somehow I felt obligated to pretend.

"No this is great really...its fun."
"You don't look like it"
"Thats cause I'm jerking off under the table."

He laughed, the waitress didn't it's probably because she's actually seen that happen before.

I thought most of the girls were to skinny. I've always been a bit of a chubby chaser. Or maybe I'm not a chubby chaser, maybe I just feel like I only have the right to be attracted to someone who somewhat looks like me. Either way I think next time I need to go to a "Proud to be me" strip club. I wouldnt have to tip either, I could just give the dancer a bite of my cheeseburger.

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