La Crosse Wisconsin
Im 12 days into a 14 day trip. This is always the time I go fucking crazy. AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! There thats better. I found out yesterday that my wife has the Epstein Barr virus. Its a usually temporary virus that mirrors the symptoms of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Mostly it makes you very very tired. I guess in some ways its good news, at least she knows there is something wrong and she is not crazy. The bad news is, there is now a medical reason I have to get up with Johnny in the morning and let her sleep. It doesn't help my guilt to much either, it was bad enough leaving my wife and child behind when I was on the road, now I'm leaving a sick wife and child.
In other news my show in Duluth was crap. Lot of heckles, not enough laughs. The other comic and I did a radio show in Duluth, they were giving away tickets to the comedy show. One woman called in and started freaking out "Oh my god! I can't believe I won! Oh my god!" As soon as we started talking she was like "Wait, this is for Cher tickets right?" Goddamn that was funny. It was live on the air too. I said "Oh, if only you could turn back time."
The headliner was a really nice guy. Everything vaguely funny that I said to him he told me I should put it in my act.
Him "I hear the hurricane is going to hit New Orleans."
Me "Man that towns just gonna be bricks and beads when its over."
Him "Dude you should put that in your act."
Radio DJ(off air) " I read in the paper someone is marketing a pizza that is supposed to increase libido. That just sounds gross."
Me "Yeah I've never heard of an onion flavored condom"
Him "Dude, you should put that in our act"
Him "That woman just asked me if my penis got bigger when I lost weight."
Me "Maybe it just looked bigger because you could finally see it."
Him "Dude can I put that in my act?"