Tuesday, October 26, 2004

THANKS FOR COMING

I got back from Colorado Springs yesterday. If you ever have a massive head cold try not to have it at 6,000 feet above sea level. Gross.

The following is an excerpt of some of the conversations I had selling cd's after the shows last week. I have also included what I was thinking in my head during these conversations.

Them "Hey, how long is your CD?"
Me "Um its about 40 minutes I think."
Head "36 minutes 10 seconds."

Them "Dude you should be the headliner."
Me "Thanks"
Head "Why is the club owner never around to hear that."

Them "Do you make much money doing comedy."
Me "No not really"
Head "I made more money when I delivered pizza"

Them "Whats your wife think of you doing comedy"
Me "Well its tough when I'm gone, but she's is pretty supportive."
Head "My marriage was better when I delivered pizza."

Them "I'd buy a CD but Im broke just like you bro!"
Me "Hey I understand"
Head "You weren't to broke to have 15 beers though were you jackass."

Them "Did anyone ever tell you that your voice sounds just like Sam Kinison?"
Me "Yeah, I get that a lot."
Head "If my voice sounds just like Sam Kinison how come nobody thought he was gay?"

Them "Did anyone ever tell you that you look just like Tim Curry?"
Me "Yeah I get that a lot"
Them "yeah you look just like him its cool dude."
Me "Thanks"
Head "Yeah who would want to look like Brad Pitt when you could look like the transvestite from Rocky Horror Picture Show."

Them "I have a two year old too! Wanna see a picture"
Me "Sure."
Head "NO"
Me "Oh what a cutie, she looks just like you"
Head "Yeah, your both ugly."
Them "Thanks, do you have a picture of your son?"
Me "Sure hold on"
Head " I can't believe I'm one of those assholes with a picture of his kid in his wallet"
Them "Oh my god he is so cute. He looks just like you!"
Me "Thanks"
Head "Hey...wait a minute."

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