Thursday, July 7, 2005

On July 4th my fam went to a BBQ at my parents house. We do it every year. My wife and I jokingly call it the "Christian Beefeaters" BBQ. Its about 40 people who go to my parents church and me and my wife, and in the last few years my son. Some of the people I even remember from when I stopped going to church 14 years ago. One of the women I remember came up to me at the BBQ and said this to me. "I know that your beliefs have changed and I respect that, but I wanted to ask your permission to see if I could pray for you. Would that be ok with you?" I said "um ok." I wish I would have said "NO." What a question. I shouldn't have been surprised a few years ago someone at the BBQ asked my brother how his "walk with God" was going. My brother is smarter then me he stopped going after that. Not me, apparently I like being judged by 40 people I don't respect. I'm not going next year. Or if I do I'm bringing whiskey and swearing a lot. It's a weird feeling to realize you were raised in a cult, but still feel guilty for letting the cult down. Well goddammit no more guilt! I am 31 years old. I love my wife.I am a good father. And I am a professional stand up comic. I also do not go to church. In fact most days I don't believe in God. I like to drink alcohol. Occasionally I smoke marijuana. I like to swear. I watch porn. A few months ago in Albuquerque I got a free lap dance at a strip club after a show, my wife was really pissed. I have about $12,000 of credit card debt. I take Wellbutrin. My son watches way to much TV for a 3 year old. When I was 19 a black guy pulled a gun on me and ended up punching me in the face in a Taco Bell parking lot. For a few years after that everytime I heard rap music it made me feel afraid. In school I was really bad at Math. I weigh 240 lbs. Got a problem with any of that? If you do Fuck off.

No comments: