Monday, December 19, 2005

Of the 3O Christmas seasons I have been a part of, this is the first one I've gone through with a 3 year old. As a 2 year old my son liked Christmas, but this year, sweet baby jesus he's a Christmas crack head. He can't get enough. He must get it from his mom, she's a bit like Buddy the Elf herself. We decided to tell Johnny that Santa Claus isn't real, he's just a fun story. He doesn't believe us. I can't wait until we talk about God.We went to a Christmas tree farm yesterday. The tree Johnny selected was about 24 feet tall. I had to talk him into a 6 footer. He is excited about presents of course. Every time you ask him what he wants he says he wants a bigger version of a toy he already has. "Bigger dump truck." "Bigger Helicopter." "Bigger daddy." Thanks to holiday fudge that last one should be no problem. Johnny bought me a present too. He's been telling me about it everyday, he still doesn't quite understand the whole waiting until Christmas day thing. He got me a football. My wife asked him to pick out a present for me in Target and he picked a football "because daddy and me play football." It probably means more to me then any present anyone has ever bought me. I can't even think about it too much because it's a little too emotional. I was actually going to buy him a football for Christmas.You know how there are certain movies that you know are probably really good, but you don't want to watch them because you know they will be too sad, or too emotional? So you end up renting "Road Trip." You know it won't be that good, but you know you won't cry, and it's not going to take you any place you're not comfortable going. It's safe. Being a parent is not safe, it's not comfortable, and you will cry. It's sometimes horrible and sometimes fucking amazing. Unless you're ready for that, wear a condom.I was going to say that being a parent is like renting "Schindlers List" every day, but that's a really weird analogy for a lot of reasons.

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