Friday, October 13, 2006

There are 5 moms and 15 kids running around my house right now. One of the kids just crawled through our cat door. Maybe she'll shit in the litter box. We have a cat now. A girl cat. My son named it Snappy. The cat refused to acknowledge such a ridiculous name for several weeks before giving in. The cat should be grateful, given my son's mental state right now she could be named "Peepeepoopoofart." Johnny started going to pre-school. Because it's the Olympia School District pre-school he gets to take the bus home. And yes, as a matter of fact, it is a short bus. At least he's not the kid on the bus wearing a seat belt. I had to sit next to that kid one long year of school bus riding. He smelled funny. Since I lived in tiny little redneck South Bend Washington as a kid, we had Kindergarten through 12th grade all on the same bus. Some of my ealiest school memories are of high school kids spitting into chew cups in the back of the bus. Once in about 3rd grade or so, I made the mistake of sitting in the back with the big kids and one of them gave me some Skoal chewing tobacco. I ended up swallowing it and barfing when I got home. I don't think I ever told my parents that. I also never told them about the time I broke my dad's hack saw blade, then panicked and threw the hack saw in the woods. When I got older I learned that hack saw blades are replaceable. I just realized my most vivid childhood memories are of me being retarded. No wonder my son rides the short bus.

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