Sunday, June 8, 2008

But First....

Yesterday I opened up for Fishbone and George Clinton and P-Funk at the Sum Funk Festival in Garberville California. If I was in a band it would have been a cool gig, but as a comedian it was awful. Garberville is in Humboldt County California. Humboldt is famous for the marijuana they grow there. So the Sum Funk Festival was basically a bunch of really high hippies listening to funk music while they flailed their arms and twirled around in that special dance that only hippies seem to do. Everything was against me. It was 1:00 in the afternoon, it was outside, no one even knew there would be comedy, there were bands setting up and banging drums behind me, and of course everyone was really high. The guy who introduced me didn't help either. He asked me what I wanted him to say when he introduced me. So I wrote down this for him. "He won the Seattle Comedy Competition, he performed at the HBO Comedy Festival in Vegas, and his comedy can be heard on Sirious Satellite Radio...Gabriel Rutledge." This son of a bitch gives me this introduction. "Were going to have a comic now named Gabriel...he says he's funny, I guess we'll see. If he's not funny you can throw tomatoes at him. Did anyone bring rotten tomatoes? Ok Gabriel get up here." Thanks asshole. I bombed. I did another set later that went better. He gave me this introduction for that set. "We've got a comic Gabriel now, he had a few things that made me chuckle last time, so we'll see what happens." Then he just handed me the microphone. Comedy and music aren't a great mix. As a performer you never want to be the "but first.." guy. As in "Are you guys ready to see George Clinton and P-Funk? (roar of applause) All right they're going to be up here a little later, but first...we're going to have a little comedy." Even if you're in a band you don't want to be the "but first.." band. "Metallica's gonna be on stage in a little bit, but first...give it up for L.A. Guns!"

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