I had to take the Greyhound bus last night from Wichita Kansas to Little Rock Arkansas. It sounds like a great country song, but it was a shitty trip. As soon as I got on the bus a rather large smelly man sat next to me and had this conversation
Smelly Large Man "Hey where are you going?"
Me "Little Rock."
Smelly Large Man "Cool. I'm going to Fort Worth Texas. I've got to see my new 11 day old baby girl."
Me "Cool. Congratulations."
Smelly Large Man " Yeah it's my 6th kid. Two from my ex wife, two from my ex girl and two from my fiance. I've got another one due in in August."
Over the next few hours he had this exact same conversation with the people sitting behind us, next to us, and in front of us. That's one of the many things Greyhound has taught me; Crazy people assume everyone is really interested in what they have to say. It was a long smelly, scary, uncomfortable night. The best part, other then it only cost me $43, is that I think I may have been the hottest guy on the bus. I may be a Greyhound 10. That's right I've got a full set of teeth and I'm not afraid to show 'em.