Friday, July 18, 2008

English is retarded

You don't realize how complicated the English language is until you have to explain it to a 6 year old.

Johnny "Daddy what letter does Spiderman start with?"

Me "Spiderman starts with S. S makes the sss sound like in ssspiderman and sssuperman and sssoda."

Johnny "And cinnamon!"

Me "Well actually cinnamon starts with C. Sometimes C makes a ssss sound like in cinnamon and ceiling, and sometimes it makes a cuh sound like in cup and car."

Johnny "And kite!"

Me "Well actually kite starts with K. K make the cuh sound too like in kite and kitten. Well I guess unless it's a silent K like in knock or knowledge."

Johnny "So sometimes K sounds like N."

Me "Um..yeah."

Johnny "Does gnat start with N?"

Me "Actually gnat starts with G."

Johnny "I thought G made a guh sound like your name Gabe."

Me "Well yeah usually."

Johhny "My name starts with J like jump, and jar, and giant!"

Me "Well actually giant starts with G."

Johnny "I thought G sounded like N."

Me "umm...yeah..i guess it depends."

Johnny "What's depends start with."

Me "D."

Johnny "Like Dinosaur!"

Me "That's right!"

Johnny "I like Pterodactyl's and Pterodactyl makes the Tu sound so it starts with T!"

Me "Wow..uh actually Pterodactyl starts with P. It's a silent P I'm not really sure why it's spelled like that."

Johnny "They just spell dinosaur names funny?"

Me "Yeah I guess so."

Johnny "So does Tyrannosaurus Rex start with P too?"

Me "(sigh) P is kind of a funny letter cause usually it sounds like puh like puppy, sometimes it's silent like Pterodactyl, and when its PH it sounds like fffff like phone and photograph.

Johnny "And football?"

Me "No that starts with F."

Johnny "Phuck this is complicated."


Bee said...

Ha ha!
I went through this with my niece who's 5 and she just walked away shaking her head. (Probably thinking I was a complete moron that didn't know what she was talking about. She's not far off!)

Anonymous said...

Yeah-- the english language is stupido.

JulioHM said...

Every language has its stupid things... try learning Portuguese, for instance. It's an inferno!

P.L. Frederick said...

Still, I'm impressed by your knowledge of the English language. How you could even answer their questions is beyond me. You know what the dumbest one is though? "The three Rs: Reading, writing, and arithmetic." They used to teach this. In school.

Owen said...

you are so close to being gallagher here