Tuesday, December 16, 2008

family dog

A few nights ago I was getting gas at an AM PM about 1:30 in the morning when this somewhat sketchy looking guy came up to me and said "Hey man. Are you interested in a family dog?"
Is there some sort of shady back alley pet adoption business I don't know about? Or maybe "Family Dog" is what they call heroin on the streets these days. Or it's what they call a blow job. It's like a regular blow job except they sniff your...nevermind. I said no to the gentleman's offer, but I was really tempted to ask him what kind of dog he considered a family dog. I think he meant he'd stolen it from a family. And where the hell was this dog? I didn't see any dog or even a car this guy came from. I had a lot of questions, but they're not the kind you ask in the middle of the night at a gas station.

I've been sick. Chest virus bullshit. I've been coughing and wheezing pretty bad for a few weeks. I seem to make a habit of getting sick during important times in my career. I won the Seattle Comedy Competition in 2004 with Laryngitis and bronchitis. And this time I was coughing and fever sweating when I made my debut on the Bob and Tom radio show. It's a pretty big deal for comics they have 4 or 5 million listeners all over the country plus they edit the radio show into a T.V. show that is shown on WGN in most of the country. It went all right I got some laughs, but I was really out of my head. I'm not sure if I should be pissed I had to be sick when I did it, or relieved that it went ok even though I was feeling awful. If I ever tape a Comedy Central Special I'll probably get gonorrhea. I took Vicodin for about a week after I did the show and that really helped make pretty much every problem I might have seem insignificant. I was working in Salt Lake City after I did Bob and Tom too, so it was nice having my own drugs, since they make it nearly impossible to get a decent alcohol buzz in Utah. Utah is adorable. I got ID'd when I went to an R rated movie there. I was already feeling ashamed for going to see the "Punisher" like a 16 year old comic book geek, asking for my ID just added insult to injury. Not even Vicodin could turn that into a good movie.

1 comment:

Super Mega Dad said...

The poor dude was probably just spending ALL DAY trying to sell the 14 damn puppies his dog had last month and he was down to ONE DOG left before he could go home for the night.

Then again, he was probably just offering you a blow job. :)

Congrats on making it through the Bob and Tom show!