Monday, February 22, 2010

Go Enterprise

1st Enterprise car rental guy: Hello Mr. Rutledge, what brings you to St. Louis?

Me: Uh...business I guess

1st Enterprise guy: Looks like we've got you in an economy car, would you like to upgrade to a midsize for just $5 more a day?

Me: No

1st Enterprise guy: OK just so you know it would be an automatic transmission and have cruise control, and like I said only $5 more a day

Me: No thanks

1st Enterprise guy: Would you like to get GPS for $10 a day?

Me: No thanks

1st Enterprise guy: Would you like to purchase gas from us, so you don't have to worry about filling it up before you get back? It's about 30cents cheaper then the gas station right now.

Me: No

1st Enterprise guy: Where will you be driving too?

Me: Springfield Illinois

1st Enterprise guy: Well that's probably going to be a full tank of gas, you might be better off just buying it from us.

Me: No thanks

1st Enterprise guy: Would you like to purchase insurance from us, it will cover anything that might hap..

Me: No thanks

1st Enterprise guy: OK I know you said you didn't want a midsize, but if you change your mind when you get to the lot, just let them know and they can take care of you.

Me:OK

2nd Enterprise guy, who greets me when I get off the shuttle bus: Mr Rutledge?

Me: Yeah that's me

2nd Enterprise guy: What brings you to St. Louis?

Me: um..business I guess.

2nd Enterprise guy: So it looks like we've got you in an economy car is that correct?

Me: Yes

2nd Enterprise guy: You know for just $5 more a day we could get you a mid-size with cruise control

Me: Yeah I know, no thanks

2nd Enterpise guy: How about a GPS unit, they just $10 a day?

Me: No thanks

2nd Enterprise guy: Ok here's Steve he's gonna show you to your vehicle

Me: Ok thanks

3rd Enterprise guy: Hey Mr. Rutledge how are you?

Me: Fine

3rd Enterprise guy: What brings you to...

Me: Business.

3rd Enterprise guy: Ok looks like we've got you in an economy car, just so you know for $5 more we can get you in a midsize with cruise...

Me: Yeah I know, no thanks


3rd Enterprise guy: Would you like to purchase a full tank of gas from us, just so you know it's about 30 cents cheaper then the gas station.

Me: No

3rd Enterprise guy: Would you like to purchase insurance from us, it would cover anything that might happen

Me: No, I have my own insurance

3rd Enterprise guy: Well sir I really have to recommend that you use our insurance, It's only $24 dollars a day and it would provide you much better coverage in the event of an accident.

Me: No thanks

3rd Enterprise guy: Just out of curiosity what's your deductable on your insurance?

Me: Look, just show me where to sign and give me the fucking car!

3rd Enterprise guy: Whoa sorry bro I'm just trying to look out for your best interests

Me: Yeah I can tell your greatly concerned with my well being, where do I sign?

3rd Enterprise guy: Sign here and initial here, here, and here. Buy the way did you want to add a GPS unit for $10 a day. I wouldn't want you to get lost, you know cause I'm so concerned about you.

Me: No, just give me key, I think we're done.

2 comments:

Moby Homemaker said...

Man, I hate those rent-a-car fuckers!!!

All that to drive to Springfield--what a dump....

Anadrol said...

OMG! I thought this story will never end! So...what brings you in our town? ;)