Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I'd Like To De-Ice Your Runway

Snow cost me $1100 this week. I know that's not a lot of money to some people, but for a road comic that's like over a thousand dollars

For once the local news weather hype machine was correct and the Seattle Snowpocalypse ended up costing me all my comedy shows last week.  They said it would snow over 12 inches in Olympia and I'll be damned if it didn't. Does that mean I have to take the local news seriously now? What if they're right about everything?  I watched the news tonight and learned that Yoga could kill me and I might get Hepatitis from a Nail Salon. They were right about the snow, so as much as I'd like too I guess I won't do Yoga or get my nails done. At least not without a condom. It's a dangerous world out there, thank god the news is here to help. I didn't see any stories on the dangers of blogging while eating chocolate covered banana chips, so I think I'll be safe for now.
I had a show in Seattle get cancelled on Wednesday. Thursday I was supposed to fly to Colorado Springs for Thursday-Saturday shows at Loonee's Comedy Club. I only made it as far as the airport in Seattle. At least I got to hear a Southwest ticket agent say to an irate customer "Well sir, shit happens. I don't know what else to tell you." It was actually quite beautiful. You can keep your "Friendly Skies" United Airlines, I'm sticking with Southwest the "Shit Happens" Airline.
The saddest thing to me was how easily I was replaced at Loonee's. After 15 hours and 3 cancelled flights at Seatac I finally called the club owner and told him I wasn't going to be able to make it because the airport was basically shut down, and I just found out my house didn't have power and I felt like I needed to be with my family. He was super nice about it and told me he understood and I needed to do what I needed to do. 4 minutes later he sent me another text that said "No worries, already got it covered."
Already covered? In 4 minutes? This is a club I've worked 7 or 8 times over the last 6 years or so and it still took me about 5 emails over a 6 month period for me to book this week. Replaced in 4 minutes. No tickets needed to be refunded, no re-scheduling announcement needed to be made for my disappointed fans, it was sadly very easily handled. I had more trouble getting shifts covered 17 years ago when I worked at Dirty Dave's Pizza. Actually the full name was "Dirty Dave's Gay 90's Pizza Parlor and Restaurant." I think the Gay 90's part is a reference to the 1890's which was apparently a very gay time. Gay as in happy I think. Not like the Homosexual 80's we all lived through. When I worked at Dirty Dave's I used to tell people that if someone came in to the restaurant who was gay and 90 they got free pizza. Even then my comedy was very replaceable.

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