Monday, January 9, 2012

Stripper Buffet

Good news! Tonight I do a show for the employees of a strip club. Bad news. Tonight I have to do a show for the employees of a strip club

Actually it was a strip club/sports bar. It was in Umatilla Oregon. Businesses in small towns always seem to be combinations. Tire Store/Taxidermy/Meth Lab next to the Gas Station/Casino/Bait Shop. Actually "The Bait Shop" would be a great name for a strip club. Or a sushi restaurant. Or a combination Strip Club/Sushi Restaurant/Sporting Goods Store. This particular sports bar/strip club was just called "The Riverside." Kind of boring. Especially since the Umatilla area is known for growing watermelons. Who wouldn't want to go to a strip club named "Watermelons?" Besides black people I mean. I've done a lot of shows over the years for the employees of different businesses, but I think I need to start doing more for strip clubs. They were a hell of a lot more fun then the usual Mortgage Company stiffs I have to water my act down for normally. Plus the Mortgage Companies never pay me with $1 bills. So the show was great for the comedy part of my brain anyway. The penis part of my brain left a little disappointed. Who wants  to be at a strip club the night all the dancers are wearing clothes and eating buffet nachos?  That's probably not the first image that pops in your head when you hear the words "Stripper Buffet." I guess it is a more unique story. A lot of people have seen strippers naked. I have even. A lot of people have gotten a lap dance from strippers. I might have, that's not really your business. What may or may not have happened between me and Diamond isn't really your concern. A lot of people have stories about the time they partied with strippers, did coke with strippers, or even had sex with strippers. I haven't done any of those things, but.... I did see strippers eat. That's like seeing a unicorn.
 I guess it's more like seeing a unicorn on a night that it wore really tight jeans over its horn so you just had to take it's word for it that it was actually a unicorn.

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